Thursday, June 26, 2008

POEM: Shaken, but Not Stirred!

Trying my hands on a poem for the first time…Nothing personal in this. Wasn't sure how readers will take it. Did a beta release yesterday at Mouthshut and feedback was positive. So with that courage releasing this to my blog readers.

Read and tell me if this looks hopeless/average/bad/acceptable… whatever…
---Poem Start---

---Shaken, but not Stirred---

I should have kept my cool
But now I feel like a fool

I’ll be in town this weekend-said he
When and where are we meeting? Questioned an eager me

Will call you once I land-said he
I’ll be eagerly waiting-said me

The person didn’t even had plans of calling me
Should I plan for an outing?-asked the stupid me

Not sure about outing-said he
Not sure means "Sure-Not"-someone should’ve told me!

He’s back in his town
I feel like thrown deep down

He’s living his life Bindaas
Why should I feel like Devdaas?

Seems to be in no regrets not meeting me
Should have known where I stand-crazy me!

Telephone calls are really cheap
Am I cheaper than that? I weep

Have to apply market correction
And consolidate my position

For him I am not even worth a call
Should I keep bothering him then?-not at all

What do I do now? Ask for an explanation?
Not interested in excuses and narration.

Was there a misunderstanding?-I don’t know
If he is willing to explain-I‘d like to know

He needs to express some interest in this friendship
Because I don't run one sided relationship

Till then I prefer to retreat
And in this friendship-stay discrete

I should have kept my cool
But now I feel like a fool

---End of poem---

You can now Start laughing/clapping/commenting...And thanks a lot for reading my poem...Can you suggest a title? I think if I replace He with She it would have been more spicy-Still I prefer to keep it simple this way.

Update: Thanks for the wonderful feedback. I've added 6 more lines (in brown)...I've opted to keep "Shaken but not Stirred" as the title as of now. Thanks to everyone who have suggested various titles.

Similar posts: Summer of 05 * My favourite lyrics lines * Bhagyada Balegala Kannada song-lyrics and translation * Krishna nee begane baaro * Rejection handling in daily life


Raveesh Kumar said...

Hey Nidhi,

Good man, trying your hands at English poetry now. Great! Rhyming is good by the way is it anyway related to your coming to town and friends not meeting you :D


Shrinidhi Hande said...

Thanks Raveesh,

But nothing personal in it. So no comments on your question

Karuna said...

Hey Nidhi...

Very good for a first attempt... And ya.. a 'She' instead of 'He' would have spiced it up a lot :D keep up the good work :) Maybe you can start writing about what you actually feel... Feelings bring out the best in you, and the poem will be worth much more than just a string of words...

Joel said...

He that's really a nice poem. And ya, I suggest "she" would be better than "he".
Ok, and you want a title huh? Hmm... how would "She said" sound if you would replace "he" with "she"..?

Prakrthi Kodakkal said...

Hi Shrinidhi..,

Real good one. And too good for a first time attempt. Well even I think 'She' would be better than 'He'(in poetry it doesnt really matter). Just coz we know that it is you in the other side. A 'She' would be more meaningful.

Prakrthi Kodakkal.

Prakrthi Kodakkal said...

Oh I forgot..
the name..
how about "Deep down inside"

Prakrthi Kodakkal

Karuna said...

How is "Expectations..." for a title...

Manoj said...

Hi, I came through your site , I really don't wanna sound like spam but hey, would you like to link my site, we are emerging SEO Specialists / PHP developer from India, I’ll show my link love to you from my Pr5 sites :)

Let me know if you are interested.


Email: -

Shrinidhi Hande said...


That was your first comment in my blog...Thanks. Dont have anything specific to write as to "what I actually feel"..Poets can write based on imagination too, not necessarily based on experience.

Thanks for the comment and suggesting the title... Will consider...

Joel, thanks for the comment and suggestion...

Unable to access your profile or the site you quoted...

hari said...

Nice poetry, could do with a bit more polish, but there is talent there.

Good work!

Joel said...

Me too now into poetry... :D Check my blog and tell me how they are... :)

Shrinidhi Hande said...


Pls suggest where I can improve (polish)

Great-read your poem and wrote comment...

hari said...

Hi, Shrinidhi, I'm not an expert in poetry. Maybe you could post it in to get some advice from our resident poets?

Shrinidhi Hande said...


Ok. will consider publishing it there.

indicaspecies said...

Because of your he and he, and since it is coinciding with the Pride Parade timings, can I suggest a suitable title? Hahaha..just kidding!

Earnest attempt at poetry and if this is your first time, it's good. Keep writing. I enjoy poetry.:)

Sanjeev Kumar Dangi said...

Spontaneous writings are always best, what if they are somewhat personal. Let them out.

Nice attemp!

Shrinidhi Hande said...


"HAHAHA..just kidding" is the title you're suggesting? LOLz

Thanks for the comment.



Sameera said...


There is a little emotional cycle in your poem.

Good attempt for a first poem!

Shrinidhi Hande said...

Thanks Sameera

Rajesh said...

Simply beautiful.

magiceye said...

very clinical, maybe because it is your first. good one!

Shrinidhi Hande said...

Thanks Rajesh and Deepak

... Madhumathi ... said...

Haha.. This one made me smile //He’s living his life Bindaas
Why should I feel like Devdaas?//

Very simple n good rhymings though.. :) keep riting nidhi :)

Al Maraas said...

One of my favorite poem

Shrinidhi Hande said...

Thanks Madhumathi and Al Maraas