Thursday, July 30, 2015

Flipkart & Amazon to launch CET like counselling to sell smartphones

This is a satire and not real news.

eNidhi India has learnt that not content with repeated flash sales, major e-commerce players like Amazon and Flipkart have decided to organize a counselling session to decide who gets to buy what mobile. This counselling session will be modeled based on CET (Common Entrance Test)- a systematic mechanism used in Karnataka to assign engineering seats to aspiring students.

Below is how it would work:
Step 1: Write Entrance Exam
Under the new process, those aspiring to buy yet to be launched mobiles which are always in short supply than demand, need to take up an online exam, in which they need to answer questions such as
- What is your monthly income?
- How desperate are you to buy this new phone
- How many selfies would you be posting online on day 1 if you get the phone?
- What are the last six phones you've used?
- After how many months/weeks you plan to come back to us to buy another smartphone?

Step 2: System assigned ranking
Based on prospective buyer's answer, system will assign a ranking to each buyer.
Step 3 Counselling

  • On a pre-defined day, wannable buyers should visit the counselling centre with cash and a smartphone(to keep updating their progress)
  • Flipkart and Amazon officials, along with representatives from phone makers like OnePlusOne, Xiomi etc will be calling in the buyers one by one based on rank and buyers will have to select a model from available options
  • A large display board will indicate which model how many pieces are left out
  • Once a buyer is assigned a particular phone, he/she should publish a mandatory selfie with large size cardboard display of new phone, make full payment and go home.
  • New phone will be delivered to the buyer through sellers' logistics partner.
  • In case a heavy rock is delivered instead of smartphone, buyer should repeat the process from Step 1

Note Post inspired by a status update of Nivedith G Image used is also taken from the same update